6/30/2017
Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Psalm 103:13, Proverbs 1:8-9, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21, Titus 2:7-8.
Parenting teenagers
Parents I understand the hardships involved in raising children especially teenagers but despite this you must be patient with them. This is not the time to alienate your children. It is time to listen to them and understand what they are telling you. It is not time to give in to their every whim, no, you must use wisdom when dealing with teenagers. There comes a time when you must let them make some decisions for themselves. If it is the wrong decision instead of screaming and yelling at them sit down with them and calmly state the reason why you think what they were doing is wrong. If they insist on going ahead with their decision use wisdom meaning if it is something that is not illegal, immoral or life threatening or harmful to others then let them go ahead and do it. In this way when they fail they will learn from their mistakes. Now there are some cases where the decision they are making is dangerous not only to them but maybe even to other people. In this case you must enforce your right as a parent and override their decision. In both cases a calm spirit is vital. The end result is that the teenager will learn a life lesson, a lesson that will help them make better decisions in the future. Do not be the kind of parent who gets anxious about everything their teenager does. They have to learn some things through life experiences, tell them about it yes but if they insist on going ahead with it again make sure it is not harmful to them or others and let them learn the hard way. A little pain or hurt will not kill them especially if they insist on being disobedient. They will learn soon enough that life lessons come at a painful price and next time they will think twice before doing something they have been told not to do. Remember you cannot just tell them not to do something without a clear explanation why, they are teenagers now not little children they are growing into young adults and they need to understand the reason why they can or cannot do something. When they come to you asking questions find out what they know first and then proceed from their knowledge and show them the right way and tell them the truth. Do not lie to your teenagers; they will not trust you if you lie to them and you risk alienating them from you when they find out that you lied to them. Trust is key in any parent teenage relationship and when that trust is broken by either party there are serious consequences that can have life altering effects for both parties. All in all parents remember who you are, you are parents and you still have authority over your teenager. If you insist on making your teenager your friend then who has authority over who? Study your own friendships; do your friends have authority over you? So why do you expect your teenager to view you as an authority figure when you have eliminated the authority I gave you over them? Do not alienate your teenagers, listen to them, let them learn some things through experience and do not give up your authority over them for the sake of friendship. You are a parent, you can be a friendly parent but you cannot be a friend to your teenager, your authority must remain intact in order for the parent teenage relationship to work.
Amen.
